In which Choon's post lacks content.Monday, November 17, 2008
at 11:21 PM;
It's been a while since I've been that angry.
Oftentimes, people don't realise that pressure doesn't always come in big chunks from 'important issues' like 'my family is poor' or 'my studies suck' or stuff like that. It comes, gradually, like tea leaves in water, seeping slowly in.
Every time you say, "eh don't pangseh me la", or "wa you RJ boy so smart", I feel pressured to achieve, pressured to keep up with people's expectations, and believe me, there are a lot of expectations on my back now.
I know I shouldn't have, but I snapped on Saturday, and afterwards I was ashamed of myself. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, especially when they're trying to help.
I don't even know what I'm talking about now.
Bah.
Okay. No more emo posts for a long while. This shall be the last.
one word
8AM in LT3, and I am
undecided, as yet, the numb smell
of blue ink stings cold,
blank blocks of paper a model
of my mind as I struggle
with rheumatic thumbs to converse,
but I am suddenly muted
before I can speak.
love never fails. yet all my
facade fades away before you;
years of careful practice and thought
to hide the socially inept fool I am.
poetry does nothign here. my pretense
is stripped away, but I refuse
to concede; turning my pen over
and over again in disbelief that
I could fall in love
with the one person I cannot read.
now I come back to zero,
and because it is the one word
I have left and one
is better than nothing
or so I think,
I type it out as it seems
to ring hollow yet loaded
through my scratched screen:
morning!
the rest is silence;
