The obligatory emo post.Thursday, July 10, 2008
at 11:45 PM;
It's almost 12 as I'm writing this sentence. 6 hours left to blog and try to get some sleep, then wash up, breakfast and school.
After school, I might go to Lawsoc meeting. Then I'll go to Photosoc meeting.
Then I'll rush down to church for Prayer and Praise. Then I'll go home. Maybe post. Sleep.
Wake early on Saturday for training. Rush home, shower, off to church for youth meeting. Eat, go home, shower, post, sleep.
Wake early on Sunday, shower, off to church. Cebu team lunch, then go home, try to do work, post, sleep. Then back to school on monday, which contains 2 hours of Chinese. And training.
Rinse and repeat.
People keep telling me, "Choon, try not to burn yourself out, decline if you have to."
Riiiiiiight.
I'm not giving up going to church, that's more important to me than anything else.
Give up ushering? They're shorthanded.
Give up being a sound tech? They're shorthanded.
Give up frisbee? Kinda late now, plus it's one of the few things I look forward to in school.
Other CCAs? I'm obliged to my friends.
Now, you say, there might be other things you can give up, such as gaming.
Gaming? I don't even have time to sleep nowadays, let alone game. And trust me, gaming sucks when you're tired. Hell, I don't have time to practice guitar, practice singing, PK, or any one of those, for that matter. I don't even have time to sit down and just chill.
Now y'all might think I'm all well and hyper and crazy, but it's only because I feel that I shouldn't spoil others' moods just because I'm frustrated. What with a good friend in the mental hospital, everyone calling me up to help them with this, with that, people assuming I have "mad skillz" and can solve all their problems, pressure to keep up with the rest of the frisbee people, and whatnot, I'm surprised I don't start beating up every single person who irritates me. Throw being "a chosen generation, a royal priesthood"and whatnot into the mix for good measure.
Or maybe I just suck at time management, or I'm just too weak to deal with this.
What is it to you guys, anyway? You have people who bother to talk to you on their own, who willingly spare time to check how you are, and if you are not well, who will make damn sure they cheer you up as soon as possible, not say, "Don't be emo kay! ^^" and expect you to get better.
Am I whining? Yes. Less than 5 people care enough about me to actually ask how I am, and then only on some days. Not even my parents do this. But whatever. It could all be my fault, and I could just be some stupid emo loser who's having a huge struggle with insecurity.
Bah.
Enough emoing. Choon shall go sleep.
the rest is silence;
